Dear Daddy
Dear Daddy,
On this Father’s Day, I’m thankful that you taught me how to be a good ancestor. I thank you for your insight and your Dad-isms. My gift to you today is sharing nuggets of your wisdom and pieces of your story in the midst of a pandemic and a racial re-awakening.
At a young age, you told me that each generation of our family must do better than the one that came before. I took that to heart and wonder everyday whether I’m making our ancestors proud and whether my choices are not just raising the bar, but helping the next generation to get up and over that bar. I watched as you rose quickly through the military ranks and marveled at your ability to build bridges, communicate effectively with literally anybody, and your care for those who served under you. My most crucial leadership lessons came from watching you.
So in this challenging time, I continue to turn to you for wisdom and I thank you for allowing me to interview you and share pieces of your story:
Q: As someone who lived through segregation, what’s your perspective on what you’re seeing and hearing today?
To be honest with you, I thought that by the time I reached this age, we as a country and society would have come a lot further than we are now. The racism that I grew up with was just in your face. I was listening to a mom on the radio about raising her young, Black boy. And, she talked about trying to inform him of who he is in today’s world. She pointed out that when he was 7-years old, everybody saw him as very cute. When he reached the age of 9 and up, suddenly he wasn’t so cute. He seemingly became more of a threat. I think of my life growing up. Once I got older, around 12-years old, something changed. It seemed like I became more of a threat to White men around me and in some cases to White women. For whatever reason I was a threat. When I look at today, I frame it from my experience in the military. When I was in the military, that was a closed environment and system. I functioned very well within that system because I had power and authority. Once I retired and was no longer in that system, you could actually see there was still a lot of the same stuff going on. Twenty-six years in the Navy, but I knew that once I took that uniform off, I was just another Black guy. When I worked with the police department and had a uniform on with my badge, I was Officer Jones. Take that off, I’m just another Black guy. There’s always that ghost.
Q: When you went to a BLM protest last week, you said, “The line looks different. Can you talk about that?
When I drove up, I didn’t really know what to expect. I do live in a little town. When I drove up and saw all those people standing on the four corners, I could feel emotions welling up inside me. This was so different. What was different is that the line looked different. It wasn’t just Black folks out there. In fact, I was the only Black person there! This feels different. It is different. It’s not over. This isn’t just a flash in the pan. I think the country is at a cross roads and we don’t have national leadership to guide us through it. It’s the people though who have power in the streets. The difference between then and now is there are young people of all colors, all stripes, all backgrounds.
Q: What’s your hope for the future? Do you have hope?
I do have hope. People ask me what it is that I run from. I run from racism. I run from poverty. I run from ignorance. And, I run from hatred because if I don’t, then I think I would be consumed by all that stuff. There are days when I wake up and go, “We’re in a nightmare here.” At some point, I hope we all come together to say, “Hey. This is what we want.” That may mean going to the polls and voting.
Dad, thank you for being willing to share pieces of yourself with the world. I never forget the lessons and will always want to sit at your knee to understand our past in order to positively impact our future.
I am committed to being a good ancestor. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.
@CEOARJ aka “Daddy’s Girl”
“Empowered by ancestral hustle and warrior soul.”
*Photo cred to the Seattle Foundation Comms team.
*All statements expressed in this blog are my personal views and not a representation of Washington STEM.
